Demoliton doofus (Better version)
by Spikehead85
Summary: I hated the actual episode of Spongebob "Demolition doofus" So I edited the transcript to make it better. Hope you enjoy!


Dmolition doofus: the better version

_[episode begins with Squidward hoeing his garden, SpongeBob's clock rings]_

**Squidward:** _[sighs]_ Let the madness begin.

**SpongeBob:** It's _[he comes out on his unicycle]_ driving test day!

**Squidward:** SpongeBob! Thanks?

**SpongeBob:** Don't wish me luck, Squidward, I don't need it. _[Spongebob rides on unicycle, then folds it in suitcase and sits in a boat to Mrs. Puff]_ What do you say, Mrs. Puff? Let's get this party started. _[SpongeBob crashes between in boats, and Mrs. Puff swelled]_ I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff, I know what I did wrong. _[SpongeBob again crashes between in boats, and Mrs. Puff more swelled]_ Don't worry, Mrs. Puff, I got it this time.

**Mrs. Puff:** No, SpongeBob, not again. _[SpongeBob again crashes in boat, and his boat goes up]_ Oh no! We're airborne!

**SpongeBob:** Don't worry Mrs. Puff, I know what to do!

**Mrs. Puff:** No, SpongeBob! Don't touch that! Oh, dear!

_[boat crashes into a tower, and an explosion occurs]_

_[Mrs. Puff wakes up in the hospital]._

**SpongeBob:** Hey Mrs. Puff. How are you feeling?

**Mrs. Puff:** _[deflated]_ Oh my. What happened to me?

**Purple Doctorfish:** I'm afraid you had a serious accident. _[Pulls down a slode showing the inside of a pufferfish] _It seems when you crashed, you ruptured your inflation sack_[Pokes the pufferfish and pops it making it deflate]._

**Mrs. Puff:** Oh no! Will I ever be my old self again?

**Purple Doctorfish:** _[Flips over paper on clipboard]_ Umm no idea. I'm afraid you'll never puff again.

**Mrs. Puff:** Gasp!

**SpongeBob:** Gasp! Mrs puff... I'm so sorry!

**Mrs. Puff: *begins to cry***

**SpongeBob:** Mrs. Puff! *starts crying too* I'm sorry...

**Mrs. Puff:** This is all your fault!

**SpongeBob:** I know, I know. Doctor! Please tell me you can make her well again.

**Purple Doctorfish:** I'm afraid she'll need major surgery to correct her damges. It should cost only... $10,000.

**SpongeBob:** What!? I don't have that kind of money, where am i gonna get bla bla bla,etc,etc (Starts panicing then falls down)

**Purple Doctorfish:** _[Holding a needle]_ That should help you relax.

_[Bubble transition back to the hospital]._

**SpongeBob:** _(Holding flowers then knocks on Mrs. Puff's room door and opens it)_ Hello Mrs. Puff. Are we feeling any better?

**Mrs. Puff:** _[Tries to smile]._

**SpongeBob:** I see you got the flowers I sent

**Mrs. Puff:** Yes. Yes I did.

**SpongeBob:** Ah this room is so dark and depressing! _[Walks over to the window]_ You need sunlight!_ [Opens the window causing the sunlight to burst in also causing the flowers in the room to bloom]._

**Mrs. Puff:** Spongebob could you take me outside? I need a change of scenery.

**SpongeBob:** _[Pushing a wheelchair]_ Okay...

**Mrs. Puff:** Thank you._[Gets lifted off the bed and onto the wheelchair] _Woah!

**SpongeBob:** Don't worry Mrs. puff. _[Pushing Mrs. Puff down the hall]_ Y'know what will make you feel better? A nice peaceful stroll! _[Whistles nervously but then the alarm goes off noticing doctors pushing people on wheelchairs]._

**Male Doctor:** Clear the way! Injured coming through!

_[Another doctor pushes a guy on a bed and the head Doctor get's stopped by SpongeBob]_

**SpongeBob:** Excuse me! Doctor! What's up with those guys?

**Purple Doctorfish:** Oh, it's nothing serious. Just an injury from this weeks Demolition Derby! Come check out the carnage! It's actually quite entertaining.

_[Spongebob pushes Mrs. Puff to the window and notices a bunch of guys crashing into each other]._

**Purple Doctorfish:** Pretty gruesome huh? You gotta hand it to those guys! Risking their lives for our amusement!

**SpongeBob:** (Demolition derby? If i win.. I could get Mrs. Puffs operation!) ! I have an idea!

**Mrs. Puff:** Oh dear...

**SpongeBob:** Don't worry! You'll like this one!

**Mrs. Puff:** _[Groans]_ And so it begins...

_[Bubble transition to the Demolition Derby]._

**Spongebob:** _[Laughing and comes out of the office witha fish]_ So what do you say Captain Lutefisk? Will you enter me in the derby?

**Captain Lutefisk:** Well... I wouldn't be I am today without old Puffys driving school. _[Walks over to SpongeBob]_ But I don't know. You look kinda soft. _[Pushes down on SpongeBob's head]._

**Spongebob:** Looks can be deceiving! Observe! _[Takes out a steering wheel] [Holds out the steering wheel and he suddenly starts to "drive" off and crashes]._

**Captain Lutefisk:** Woah-aoh-aoh! That kid's a natural! _[SpongeBob returns and stops "driving"] _But he's going to need a scarier identity. Derby's all about image! *Snaps* _[Takes off shoe then sock and uses a pair of sissors and starts cutting up the sock and puts it on SpongeBob's head]._

**SpongeBob:** Hooray!

_[Bubble transition to a crowd cheering in a stadium]._

**Captain Lutefisk:** Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Demolition Derby! Allow me to introduce our contestants! _[Camera switches to a giant, musclar purple in a shark-like boat]_ First off, fegin of crossing guards everywhere: The Kruncher! _[Crowd cheers for The Kruncher]_ And from the darkest depths of the brivin' blue: Divin' Bell Dale! _[Divin' Bell Dale pounds his chest]_ And of course, you know and admire: Blow Torch! _[Blow Torch breathes out fire]_ And the funniest driver of all: The Cackling Cruiser! _(The Cackling Crusier laughs)_ Now with introductions out of the way..._[Notices SpongeBob drive up between the Kruncher and Blow Torch]_...Oh! I almost forgot!_ (Laughs)_ Le Squish!

**The Kruncher:** Hey, Le Squish looks pretty "tough." _[Looks down at SpongeBob]_ Maybe we should give up now.

_[The Kruncher and Blow Torch laugh alongside the crowd]_

**Captain Lutefisk:** Ok drivers! Start yer engines! And let the destruction begin! _[Waves flag]._

_[The Kruncher, Blow Torch, Divin' Bell Dale, and The Cackling Cruiser all drive off. Then The Kruncher then readies to crash into SpongeBob]._

**SpongeBob:** _[Notices the Kruncher driving at him] _AHHHHHH! _[The Kruncher ends of driving into SpongeBob's mouth which causes him to stop in mid air]._

**The Kruncher:** What the hay? _[Gets send crashing into the wall by SpongeBob]._

**SpongeBob:** Huh? _[Notices Divin' Bell Dale driving toward him]_ Oh dear. I think I'm in that fellow's way. _[Turns the key as Dale gets closer]_ Now what did Mrs. Puff teach me? Engauge turn signals._[Turns on turn signals as Dale gets even closer]_ Adjust mirrors._[Adjusts mirros as Dale is even closer now] _Hands at ten and two, and finally floor it. _[Laughs and the back wheels on his boat spin fast causing dirt to fly at Dale's helment which blinds him]._

**The Kruncher:** _[Drives out of hole in the wall] _Oh what happened?_ [Notices Dale swerving around and he eventually crashes into him]._

**Blow Torch:** _[Launches Spongebob into the air then laughs and snorts]._

_[SpongeBob flies out and back into the water and one of his back wheels land on Blow Torch's face. Spongebob then pushes the gas pedal causing him to literally run off Blow Torch's face]._

**Captain Lutefisk:** Oh! Ooh! Le Squish turns it around with a rare face trend maneuver!

**SpongeBob:** _[Notices all of the drivers surround him]_ Oh no! What should I.

**Mrs. Puff thought bubble:** Put it in drive!

**SpongeBob:** Put it in drive? Thanks Mrs. Puff, You're the best!

_[SpongeBob tires to put it in drive the The Cackling Cruiser crashes into him from behind but he bounces off the wall and back into the Cruiser causing him to crash into the wall and his wheels fall off. SpongeBob goes flying over The Kruncher who then crashes into The Cackling Cruiser. SpongeBob then avoids Blow Torch, Divin' Bell Dale, and some unknown driver which they all end up driving into a fish on a boat. All of the wreckage start flying by Mrs. Puff and the crowd which they look in awe]._

**SpongeBob:** _[Still driving]_ Thanks Mrs puff halucination! _[About to drive into Blow Torch]._

**Blow Torch:** _[Laughs] _I got you this time! _[SpongeBob ends up driving up the front on his boat and then Blow Torch crashes. SpongeBob goes flying back in the other direction]._

_[SpongeBob ends up on top of the wreckage still intact. The crowd then cheers for him]._

**The kruncher:** _[bursts in with a giant monster truck]_ Times up Squish!_ [He charges straight at Spongebob who dodges out of the way. The kruncher then rams him right out of the arena and follows suit. They land in Mrs. Puffs boating school where Spongebob, being chased by The Kruncher actually completes the entire course. When they reach the flaming hoop Spongebob makes it through but The kruncher crashes out]_

**Captain Lutefisk:**_ [He and a crowd dash up next to Spongebob]_ And the winner is... The squish! [_Everyone starts cheering as Spongebob recieves the check.]_

_[Bubble tranition to hospital]_

**Mrs. Puff:** _[wakes up]_ Ugghhh.. Whats happened now?

**Purple doctor fish:** Well, this young man here won the derby, saved your puffing and preformed every boating technique known to fishkind. Watch. _[He turns on a tv which shows Spongebob at the derby.]_

**Mrs. Puff:** Spongebob... You did this for me?

**Spongebob:** Yeah.. I'm glad you're okay.

**Mrs. Puff:** For your expert driving.. I can't beleive I'm saying this but heres your lisence.

**Spongebob:** Wha, huh, bla, for me?

**Mrs Puff:** Yep, you earned it!

**Spongebob:** Wow! Thanks Mrs puff! How's about I start by driving you out of the hispital?

**Mrs. Puff:** Sounds good to me! _[Spongebob puts her in a wheelchair and drives her off]_ Wheeee! So long dusty old hospital! Ha ha ha!

**Purple doctor fish:** Yes, so long... Wait a minute!


End file.
